Hissers Read online

  Said Mr. French would always ask when he, Connor’s dad, was gonna have kids and what he and the new wife were doing on Saturday because there was a community picnic at the park near the school, and they should come by. Connor’s dad always followed up this tired tale with some lame nostalgic lament like, “You don’t get that kind of neighbor these days. These days kids take guns to school and Starbucks runs the small business owner out of town.”

  All Connor ever replied was, “Why would you buy a newspaper when you can read it for free online?”

  They cut across the parking lot and leaned their bikes up against the ice machine beside the front entrance. The interior of the store was air conditioned and had that 7-Eleven smell—floor cleaner, stale coffee, hot dogs, and sweat. Jared Higgins was behind the counter. He was a senior at the high school, one of the stars of the wrestling team and the kind of guy who was allegedly always getting girls pregnant but never actually dated anyone. He was muscular enough to bring down a rhino with one arm but dumb enough that multisyllabic words made him go cross-eyed.

  His innate oblivion to anything that didn’t have tits or an Anheuser-Busch logo on it was one of the reasons Connor and Seth could steal the batteries so easily. If he did happen to catch them it wasn’t like a simple lie couldn’t convince the idiot that the batteries had just fallen into their socks.

  Neither Connor nor Seth were very friendly with Jared, but word traveled fast in their quaint town and even Connor’s mom knew that Jared was being held back as a senior this year. That made him the only twenty-year-old in the high school.

  And then it hit him, the knowledge that in just three days he and Seth would be walking the same halls as Jared. In just three days, come Monday morning, the summer would be officially over and they’d be starting on the path to adulthood. The thought filled him with absolute dread. It was worse than how he’d felt entering into the two-year junior high school. At least there you knew you only had to suffer as an underclassman for a year before you were king of the school, but this was different. This was a whole new game. Kids drove cars in high school, kids drank and fought and fucked. There were people like Jared in the school with you—big, muscled-headed idiots who could kill you with a finger.

  And worse, there were people like Maynard Drake, who would run you over with his jalopy just to get a laugh.

  There were girls there as well, girls like Reyna Heatherly and Paula Wheeler., legends in the boys’ locker rooms. Sure, Connor and Seth had no chance of ever getting with them but they could at least look. And where there was one Reyna or Paula, there would be others coming up the ranks.

  Yes, high school was where the golden treasure could be found. The elusive forbidden fruit. The power that made a boy’s world go round: sex.

  Connor tapped Seth on the shoulder. “Go get the Redbulls, I’ll get the batteries.”

  Seth invoked Yoda. “Yes, master. Redbulls purchase, I will.”

  The batteries were down an aisle directly in front of Jared, but the goon was bent over a nudie magazine and playing with a Bic lighter. Connor grabbed a package of four double As, split the plastic cover off the top and slipped the loose batteries down his socks. A summer’s worth of nicking batteries had made him a pro at this, and he was done in less than two seconds. He put the empty packaging behind a jug of motor oil.

  “You get them?” Seth hefted the Redbulls to show he’d done his part.

  “Yeah. Got ‘em. Let’s get the hot dogs.”

  They made their way over to the hotdog unit to make sure there were normal beef dogs rolling about. Sometimes the store had nothing but chicken taquitos and giant sausage dogs, which were good but cost twice as much as the regular dogs. Today they had an allotment of shriveled, sweaty links the EPA would probably confiscate in biohazard drums. They put their drinks on the counter and waited for Jared to notice them.

  He did not. His eyes remained glued to the magazine.

  “We’re ready,” Connor said.

  Jared tapped the magazine. “Hold on, Cochise, I’m almost done.”

  Seth leaned over and whispered in Connor’s ear. “Even if I believed he could string words together to form sentences, I don’t think there are any on that page.”

  Both boys leaned slyly over the counter to get a look at the woman on the page. She was dressed as a baseball player if you counted the hat and bat. Beyond that she wore nothing but high heels. The pink wetness between her legs was entirely alien to Connor and Seth. Not that they hadn’t seen pictures of naked women (they did have the Internet) but it still amazed them when they saw a vagina at such a close up angle.

  Seth’s jaw dropped open ever so slightly. Connor felt a bulge in his pants. Neither was concerned with the hotdogs anymore.

  The bell over the front door rang. Jared didn’t seem to care who’d come in, but he looked up nevertheless. For a second he just stared, then in what could only be described as a belated moment of decorum he closed the magazine just as two young girls walked to the counter.

  Connor felt a tap on his shoulder. He spun around and found himself face to face with Nicole Fitzgerald. “Hi, Connor.”

  “Hey, Nicole.”

  She was dressed in tan pants and a white tank top, a bikini top visible underneath it. Her hair was tied back in a pony tail. Behind Nicole was her best friend Amanita Miller. As usual she was exposing as much of her skin as possible, walking around in shorts too small for her and just a bikini top. A pair of oversized sunglasses covered most of her face. What was visible was smeared in so much makeup she may as well have been in the magazine Jared was looking at. Connor could smell cigarette smoke on her.

  Involuntarily Nicole glanced down at Connor’s crotch and then looked away embarrassed.

  Oh great! Connor stepped behind Seth and tried to hide his situation. “Um…what are you doing here?” he asked, as he pushed down on himself.

  Nicole giggled. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, fine, just—you startled me.”

  “Looks like you’re startling yourself,” Amanita added.

  “No, it’s…my fly, it’s…stuck.”

  Both girls looked at each other and shared a laugh. Connor cursed. If only girls knew how hard it was for men to deal with this thing between their legs that had a mind of its own. It wasn’t fair!

  “We’re getting hotdogs,” Seth said. His eyes were locked tightly on Amanita’s budding chest and tanned stomach. The girl noticed but didn’t mind, such was Amanita’s MO.

  “Am wanted a Vitamin Water,” Nicole replied. “We were walking to the park to lay out for a bit.”

  “Cool,” said Seth, lacking anything actually cool to say.

  With the help of some forceful bending, Connor’s situation had returned to normal, so he stepped back out in front of Nicole. “So, um, how’s it going? You psyched for Monday?”

  “Kinda. It’s gonna be weird, huh?”

  All four were in the same grade. Connor and Nicole had shared a few classes last year but usually sat on opposite ends of the room. They were both in honors classes, as was Seth, but everyone knew Nicole was the smartest person in their grade and could stand to be in the honors classes a full grade ahead. You just knew she was going to go far in life.

  “Is that a porno magazine?” Amanita pointed to the closed magazine on the counter.

  Jared whisked it away and looked her up and down. He seemed enticed by the way she had her hands on her hips and Connor wouldn’t put it past the guy to make a move. Hell, he wasn’t sure Amanita would even mind. “I’m over eighteen, little girl. Don’t judge me. You all gonna buy something or just stand around littering?”

  “I think he means loitering,” Nicole whispered.

  Amanita put a twenty on the counter. “A pack of Parliament Lights. You can charge me ten dollars for them. You know, just in case.” She winked at him.

  “Ten? They’re only six.”

  “But you can charge me ten. Like, to make sure there are no hard feelings, no feelings inv
olving your job and all.”

  Jared scratched his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re six.” He rang up a pack for her and gave her correct change.

  Nicole and Connor both shook their heads and smiled.

  “You fuckwads paying for these Redbulls or what?” Jared snapped his fingers on the cans, making a pinging noise.

  Seth put some folded-up bills on the counter. “And two hotdogs,” he said. Jared huffed and went to get the hotdog tongs.

  “So hey,” Nicole said, looking at Connor, “you going to Jason Drake’s party tonight?”

  Connor remembered the recent incident with the car. He and Jason were not friends by any means despite being in the same grade. Jason was not in the honors classes and spent most of his time in Home Ec classes or in detention. In fact he was in most of Amanita’s classes. “Uh, no.”

  “Oh, c’mon. You should. It’s gonna be fun. His brother does it every year the last weekend before school starts. Everybody goes. Jason said there’s gonna be three kegs.”

  Amanita yanked the plastic off her cigarette box and began packing them against her palm. “Let it go, Nicole. I doubt they got invited.” She glared venomously at Seth, who was still leering sideways at her body. When he caught her eyes he looked guiltily at his shoes.

  “Oh please, that doesn’t even matter,” Nicole said. “Everyone’s invited. It’s like an all-inclusive school thing. That’s what Jason said. So you guys could come.”

  If we show up we’ll get thrown in the pool or pantsed or something, Connor thought. One brush a day with the Drake brothers was about all he could stomach. “Nah, we were gonna have our own little celebration tonight anyway so…I don’t think we’re gonna make it.”

  “Oh.” Nicole nodded like she understood. “That’s cool. Where?”

  “Where what?”

  “Where’s your party.”

  “Our party?”

  “You just said you’re having your own celebration.”

  “Oh! You know, like, we were gonna hang out at the…fort and stuff.”

  “The fort? You mean that shitty wooden thing in the woods?” Amanita grimaced. “Sounds like a real blast. What do you do, reenact Star Trek Wars or something.”

  “Star Wars and Star Trek are two different things,” Seth corrected. “And only Star Wars is cool.”

  “Neither is cool, actually.”

  “Well, maybe we could join you for a bit,” Nicole said.

  Connor could tell she was just being nice. He appreciated it but he knew no girl about to enter high school was gonna pass up a chance to meet four grades worth of high school boys at one of the most popular parties of the year.

  “If you want,” he replied.

  “I’m going to the Drakes,” Jared said, putting the hotdogs on the counter. “It’s gonna be fucking awesome. You going?” He directed the question at Amanita. This time he made no effort to hide the way his eyes undressed her. “I could introduce you to people. I know lots of people. I could totally introduce you and stuff.”

  “I’ll bet you could.” Amanita took a pack of matches off the service tray on the counter. She was not amused. If her eyes could talk they’d say everyone around her was an idiot.

  Seth took the hotdogs and Redbulls and handed Connor his share. “‘Star Trek Wars’. What does that even mean? C’mon, we should get going.”

  Connor nodded. He felt weird enough as it was, if they stuck around any longer he’d surely do something embarrassing.

  Nicole stepped in front of him before he could head to the door. “Well, look, I mean maybe we could just come by and hang for a little bit. Then when we go to the party—”

  “I don’t want to go to some stupid fort in the woods,” Amanita chimed in.

  Nicole glared at her, then looked back at Connor. “Then when we leave for the party if you want to come you can come with us. We could all go together. If you don’t then no big deal.”

  “You’re not listening, Nic, I don’t wanna go into the fucking woods. I wanna go to the party and I need to do my hair and fix these tan lines.”

  Connor wanted to tell Amanita to shut the hell up but held back. She’d been Nicole’s friend since preschool and he didn’t want to insult their bond. It was similar to how the junior high school soccer team was all friendly with Connor for being a good scorer but made fun of Seth for being overweight. Why did people think you could insult someone’s friend and they’d be okay with it?

  “I dunno,” he said.

  “Look, Nic, They weren’t invited. If they don’t want to go they don’t have to go.”

  “I could introduce you to a whole lot of people,” Jared said. He winked at Amanita.

  Nicole had finally had enough. “Am, we’ll be there in plenty of time for you to shake your ass. You,” she pointed at Jared, “we’re fourteen, you know.”

  Jared shrugged. “Yeah, but not for long.”

  She turned to Connor. “And you, if you don’t want to hang out with us just say so.”

  “Okay, look,” Connor said, suddenly feeling like a real jerk. “You know where the fort is. We’ll be there around eight or so. If you come, awesome. If not…”

  “We’ll be there,” she replied, back to her giddy self.

  “No we won’t,” Amanita added.

  “I just want to eat my frigging hot dog and play some games. Can we go now?” Seth motioned to the door.

  Connor pushed past his best friend. “Yeah, let’s go.”

  Saturday. 1:30pm

  The park wasn’t a park in the normal sense. There were no lakes or streams, no hiking trails, no park rangers hassling people for leaving food where bears could get it. It was more of a community pasture. Two soccer fields and a baseball field served as the grounds for the local sports leagues, along side of which ran a football field’s worth of green grass with occasional park benches and trash cans. The town called it the park though it was technically modeled after ancient Roman malls—meeting places where people came to mingle and barter goods.

  Most of the people in the neighborhood only came to play Frisbee, cook burgers on hibachis, and in the case of underage hooligans, sneak beers in coolers when they could. Right now a pee wee soccer game was taking place on the far soccer field, and every now and then one could hear angry parents yelling at other angry parents. A Parks and Rec employee was cutting the grass on the baseball field, and the only other sign of life was two high school boys playing catch with a football way down at the other end.

  Nicole and Amanita spread their beach blankets and stretched out on their backs. Amanita took off her shorts leaving nothing on but her bikini, but Nicole felt a little too exposed to go that bare and kept her pants on.

  “Your legs will never get tan if you keep ‘em covered up all summer,” Amanita said.

  “I’m Irish, I’ll just burn.”

  “You used to be a shorts person. What happened, you outgrow them?”

  “If that’s a fat joke, then you’re a bitch.”

  “D’oy.”

  “I like pants is all. They’re comfy.”

  They both donned their sunglasses, stuck iPod earbuds in their ears, and closed their eyes. Everything was serene until the smell of Amanita’s cigarette began to overpower the scent of the grass and summer wildflowers.

  Nicole turned off her iPod. “Do you need to smoke that here?”

  Amanita pulled her earbuds out. “Yes.”

  “You’re gonna get cancer.”

  “So? You think anyone’s gonna miss me?”

  “I’ll miss you.”

  “Well, you’re the only one. You’ll be in the White House or something by the time the cancer kills me so we won’t even be friends anymore anyway.”

  “Just put it out, please.”

  Amanita huffed and pitched the cigarette into the grass. They both listened to the distant sound of a pigskin smacking into hands. “You weren’t serious about going to that stupid fort were you?”

  “
Yeah.”

  “Why? I mean, Connor is okay, he’s kinda cute and all, but they’re pretty much dorks. We’re about to go into high school, Nic. We should be looking for some older guys. Guys with cars at least.”

  “I like Connor. And I like Seth. There’s nothing wrong with them.”

  “Gross.”

  Nicole propped herself up on her elbow. “What’s so important that you have to be at Jason’s right away, anyway? We’ll have the next four years to go to this party. It’s probably gonna be lame. For fuck’s sake, Jared the Wonder Tard is gonna be there.”

  “Well, I sure as shit ain’t going for him. What a pervert. He’s like, as old as my dad.”

  “Well if you didn’t dress like that in front of him...”

  Amanita flipped her glasses up and stared at Nicole. “Okay, Mom, thanks for the advice.”

  “Well, I’m just saying. Guys are stupid and you never know what they’re gonna do. So what’s so important about this party tonight? I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “Nothing, I just really want to go. Like I said, it’s time we start recognizing we’re older. We’re in high school. We need high school boyfriends.”

  “Seth and Connor are gonna be in high school too.”

  “You know what I mean. Not losers, real older guys. You don’t want to be part of the lame crowd in this school.”

  Nicole gasped and hit Amanita on the shoulder. “Wait a minute! You like someone that’s gonna be there. Who?”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Nicole hit her again. “Stop being coy. Who is it? Holy shit is it Jason? It is, isn’t it?”

  Amanita hit Nicole back. “Jesus, will you be quiet. So what? So I happen to think he’s hot. You act like it’s a tragedy.”

  “I’m just shocked is all. I mean, you were in his classes last year. Did you even talk to him?”

  “Sometimes. I dunno. He isn’t that smart, y’know. But there’s something about him. At the end of the year he just started to look really good. He’s starting to look like Maynard with the chest muscles and all. Besides, I don’t need to talk to him. I just sort of want to mess around and stuff.”